An obsession with fear sometimes obscures things we could otherwise value in life.
What are those imagined dangers in off-main-road travel?
• Bogans? (That’s rednecks, but usually without guns.) They don’t venture far from the shoot-em-up computer games these days.
• Wild Aboriginals? You will likely find the opposite. Super friendly once you have broken the ice. Try, “Is this the way to Sydney?”, or, “If you are lost I can’t help you.” Actually these locals are the first, and sometimes only, people who will stop if it looks like you need help. Not that you could fit your bike, all your gear and yourself into their car with the giggling passengers often already squashed in. Usually having a great sense of humour, but may be quite baffled as to why you didn’t take your car for the trip. You might be wondering the same thing yourself.
• Snakes? Yeah, there are 9 of the 10 most poisonous snakes in the world in the outback. Very seldom see them. They are often nocturnal. Why are 90% of snakebites to male victims? Here’s a tip: don’t try to pick ‘em up, or kill ‘em.
• Crocodiles? Not often seen on the road, but don’t go swimming either in the sea, or big rivers, in the tropics. River crossings? There are no known instances of people pushing bikes through knee deep water being attacked. If you’re not a leggy German model you are pretty safe.
• Dingos? Man, they are small dog size and generally timid at that.
• Creepy crawlies and mozzies? Zip up that tent at night.
• Heat exhaustion? Now you are talking. Wear a hat and long sleeves in hot weather. Stop and sit in the shade of a tree if it feels really hot.
• Dehydration? Take plenty of water and then a bit more. Keep drinking.
• Trucks, roadtrains ? Those guys, and gals, are professional drivers and will give you plenty of space, if nothing else is coming. Generally considerate on the remote roads. A minute stopping and getting off the road is good insurance if there’s any traffic when you can spot in your mirror that one of those 50 m long monsters is about to rumble past.
• Caravanners? Well, that’s another story.
Your biggest real fear should be the 70-something Grey Nomads pulling an overly large caravan with their brand new mega 4WD, and their substandard driving skills.
Or worse, their version of 20 Questions once you have stopped.
